Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Robot Nun

Pockets running on empty? Minds ill at ease? then may I suggest you invest an hour or so in making a Dream Machine? I can't be bothered to go into the whole history, (Brion, Burroughs, Beat, etc).
Enough has been regurgitated around that whole wormcan, and after all, that's what 'internet search engines are for anyway.

The point is, you get relaxation, visuals, colours, loss of spatial and sensory awareness, enlightenment..basically like drugs only less expensive hand less harrowing.

It's very, very, easy, honestly, I am reallly really bad both at maths and following instructions.
Here's a plan to make one for a 45rpm record deck, as all the shellac in the world has broken, and it takes an extreme love of gabba, speedcore, powerviolence, and only gabba, speedcore, and powerviolence, thus desiring to turning all your other records into above mentioned challenging-listening... to bother having need of a 78 now.

Cats like it too, which means either A) the alpha rythums in their brains work on a similar algorythum to human's, which is perhaps where we get on, or B) absolutley nothing at all.

Plans for dream machine


Saturday, 14 April 2012

Bright Golden Future

Hello boys and girls. As you may be aware, if you are in study, and this is particularly likely, if you are one of my few followers, you're just about to get booted out of education...again! Can't get enough, can you?
Anyway, in this daunting time I thought I'd lend a hand, to soothe your frantically hyperventilating bossoms, and share with you some publications I've come across which have provided me with much reassurance and guidance as I await my last fat slap of student loan (roll on Apr16!). Soon, very, too, awfully, terribly, frightfully, bally, soon you will (if you're lucky) be entering...

Yes indeed, get ready that world! But wait, we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves already..WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY-WHY?

Check, MONEY. So that about leaves you clear to be an absolute fucking bastard doesn't it?
DO NOT WALK INTO THIS EASY MISTAKE.  Please copy the following  down :

Well done Macdonalds, more from you later! Idiotic public aside, you may well run in to other difficulties such as:

Foreign people:
Frightening new technologies:

Political turnmoil (verdict; don't rock the boat, Di):

Archaically named colleagues, bombs:

Orgies of danger:

Does this intimidate you? Does it send you running back under your textbooks in vain search of  cover, papercuts and tears? Maybe you'd like to continue studying, after all, you've only just learned how to learn, you've finally blown the shackle of your comprehensive school , no attention span, poor handwriting, poor organizational skills, must-try-harder ignorance and strange desire to, ney, choiceless, joyless drive to misbehave. You've learned letting off stink bombs in a university is not appropriate, and with that distraction out of the way, you've finally learned how to calmly absorb a Book.

Stunned at the revelation that your title after your BA will not be Dr, you've found out that there's even higher qualifications floating around, like an MA! Just do one of those! That'll keep the wolves from the reality asylum door-

Oh wait,

It's all incredibly expensive now isn't it. Gosh...if only there was some way in which you could work...perhaps even initially for free..and once you had enough skills study..and even get paid FOR it! Gosh I'd even do it from the age of fourteen (BECAUSE THAT ISN'T ILLEGAL WHEN YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID)

Wake up kid, you're living in some kind of erm..what's the word, oh...it's like make-believe..
Dream world, yes that's it, thanks again Nick. Only..

Dreams can come true.

Because that previously outlined Utopic "impossibility" is EXACTLY what McDonalds, no less, are offering. Wipe those tears, SPRINT to Primark and then take a look for yourself..

 '...and i just can't hide it!'

..I'm about to lose...definately something, and I think I like it!

You may, like me be wondering why? Why this awful facade? The 'Prospectus' sadly doesn't have, unlike like almost every other document produced since 2008 a section titled 'Our Philosophy'. Perhaps that's what the suspicious blank pages at the back hold? In white ink? I'll leave you to take a look at it, if you can stomach it, if there's any room in there with all the plastic happy meal toys I know you're all so fond of eating. I'll leave you with this...as they progress up the evolutionary style chain, look how much fatter they get! hee hee! Also, it's nice to know that when you really get up there, with your souless eyes and bursting crotch, you get to influence government education bodies. We've learned by now not to expect to get our own way,  but it's comforting at least to see how those evil jigsaw pieces fit together, instead of being some big old mystery. Knowledge is power, after all.  Be Mc'seeing you X

Is there anything those kindhearted MCdonners wont do? just stumbled across a usually sychophantic propaganda peice in the dreaded News Guardian, informing us that McDonalds employees, and disabled school children alike (Southlands school is thus, as is not mentioned in the article) have been jollily roped into a little piece of unpaid labour, which, as seems McDonald's new all-encompassing endeavor, fills up the time on earth of some of the more struggling members of the British public, whilst concidently attempting to impress and endear, self-same non-plussed British Public.


Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Old methadonians

Hello there. As I'm approaching the end of my studies,  thought I would put some of the slightly more interesting (i.e not about Economics/Carribean/Etc) pieces of work about for you, if you care to, see what rubbish I've been sponsored to spout for the past few years.
So, first up is an essay from 2010/11 concerning the visuality of medicalized drug rehabilitation, in a module for 'visual anthropology' with the loose requirement of it being in some way attached to the theme of 'the body'. Sorry about the somewhat slapdash scanning technique on show, but you know, I'm quite busy.
Downloadable at the following link... (copy and paste cos i'm not that savvy)

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

aforementioned squalor, + Mushroom recipie

Loco on the 'Deines, Waxa on the laxa, Miosis Meltodown, Bovver Brouges and Nervous breakdown in London town

London is going crazy, London soon to be Swinging by it's neck, you read the Evening Standard and your head might explode.
London's fair (and unfair) citizens are being helped into their maddened frenzy by chemicals, drugs are over baby, I haven't even had Mexxy, does this mean I'm old? No, the available chemicals on tap are an exrodinary amount of car fumes, cocktailed with an exponential increase in drilling noise, asbestos, and of course, Prescription Drugs!
Medicine is elbowing it's way into every existence; Yesterday I tried to wake up a dead looking tramp,   and before that was forced due to funding cuts to perform operation on m'colleagues chin using only toothpaste, bogroll and gaffa tape. Apart from that I've been a woeful martyr to my back. The NHS, en generale, lets not name names,  made the monumentaly thughtless prescription of this:

We all know about codiene, but the bigger box is the mysteron. They have tricked me into taking a mental drug called Gabapentin. How very dare they, it's side effects include:
'Abnormal gait  unusual thoughts abnormal laboratory test results abrasion accidental injury more likely acne back pain blood and bone marrow problems breathing difficulties bronchitis in children confusion constipation convulsions in children coordination problems cough decreased movement depression diarrhoea difficulty sleeping double vision dry mouth or throat eye or eyesight problems feeling anxious feeling nervous feelings of hostility general feeling of being unwell headaches hyperactivity or aggressive behaviour in children impotence indigestion infection of the ear in children inflammation of the gums itching jointpain loss  and hypaesthesia skin rash or rashes speech problems stomachpain swelling of the face tooth problems tremors unexplained or unexpected bruising vasodilatation vertigo vomiting weakness weight gain'But relax,
'withdrawal symptoms can occur when this medicine is stopped. These include feeling anxious, difficulty sleeping, nausea, pains, sweating or chest pain - some of these may be fatal including worsening of seizure frequency'.  SO DON'T STOP TAKING IT!
This may explain why the City feels like it's going mental. Maybe it's just me, but actually, I don't reckon so..A lot of Londoners take it upon themselves to be a part-time Policeman (ignoring the actual part-time police volunteers who are least are easily identifiable). Feudally, the king is the car, second in command are Exiting New Developments. People live in squalor and must pay through the nose for it.
I've put together a little bitesize edition of the evening standard for you to ingest, get well soon London. X
EDIT - on putting that wee collage together I noticed the ES appear to be launching a conspiracy against dogs, just like Ken08.
So I've included so positive dog propaganda, which I encountered on the floor in deptford.

goodnight Seattle.